


Another star has fallen

by RosieMS



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Banished Loki (Marvel), Enemies to Friends, Eventual Fluff, Evil SHIELD, Gen, Hallucinations, Human Loki (Marvel), Hurt/Comfort, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki Whump, Not Captain America: The Winter Soldier Compliant, Odin (Marvel)'s A+ Parenting, Post-Thor: The Dark World, Protective Steve Rogers, Revenge, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-23
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2019-11-28 23:21:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18215042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosieMS/pseuds/RosieMS
Summary: After Dark Elves were defeated and Thor gone from Asgard, Loki took the role of the Allfather. His rule didn’t last long, however, for Odin returned and banished Loki to Midgard. Now, mortal Loki is left to wander the realm he had once tried to conquer, falling into the hands of those he had wronged, and suffering for the deeds that weren’t completely his own.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've started writing this a long time ago and it's still not finished, so bear with me, please. This fic contains a lot of violence, explicit language and some OOC behaviour, so if it's not your thing, don't read.  
> Title inspired by the song Lost in space by Avantasia, because it reminds me of Loki. (You should listen to it, it's really awesome)  
> Enjoy!

Loki sat on the throne in a disguise as Odin, Gungnir in one hand and a goblet of wine in another. He finally did it. Not only was he a king, but he got rid of that oaf Thor as well. But it was mostly the little things that made him happy. He particularly enjoyed sending Warriors Three and Lady Sif on a ridiculous missions.

He was one of the most powerful men in the Nine Realms. Except he wasn’t. It was all just an act with Loki in a main role.

He put the goblet aside and slowly rose from the throne. When he arrived to his chambers – Odin’s chambers – he was finally alone. There was a big mirror in the corner of the room and its reflection showed the old king turning into a young black haired man. Loki sighed at the image. When he came closer, he noticed dark circles under his eyes. Pretending to be the Allfather was tiresome, but Loki was determined to do his best. If someone realised that it was him, he would be surely executed.

Loki left Gungnir in the corner and lay down on the bed. He stayed like that for a few minutes just relaxing, until he realised someone else was in the room. He didn’t move immediately, but considered his options first. Whoever it was, they’ve already seen him so changing back to Odin was useless. There was just one thing he could do. Loki conjured a throwing knife and launched it at the intruder with inhuman speed and accuracy, however, the man just waved one hand and knife changed its direction, hitting a wall near the mirror instead. Loki stood, ready to attack again when he finally saw who the person before him was. His eyes widened with fear. There he was, the real Odin.

“Loki, stop this madness!” Allfather’s voice was stern and it sent shivers down Loki’s spine.

Without further thinking Loki conjured another two knives and threw them at Odin. They changed direction again, missed the Allfather and hit the wall. Loki started panicking. He couldn’t reach Gungnir and his knives weren’t enough, maybe he could… His thoughts were interrupted by Odin’s voice.

“Enough!” He started moving towards Loki, his face showing only one emotion, anger.

Loki didn’t want to give up, but the look of his father – not father – made him reconsider his options. How did he defeat him before? It seemed impossible now and he started thinking about the escape. He would look like a coward, yes, but if he survived, he would be able to live with that. Loki was preparing to teleport when Odin spoke again, his voice quiet but all the more menacing.

“When I sent you to the dungeons, I thought that maybe one day you will realize your wrongdoings and learn humility, but I expected too much from a Frost Giant. You betrayed Asgard, you betrayed your king and you betrayed your family,” his voice was getting louder, but Loki just couldn’t convince his body to move. “For your actions I, the Allfather, take your power and cast you out!”

The light beam of energy hit Loki in the chest and he felt himself falling. Colourful rays obscured his vision, so bright he had to close his eyes. His heart was beating so hard, he thought it would pop out of his chest, and all he was able to think about was that he couldn’t reach his magic. Where once lay a river of green energy, now was only blackness. He felt defeated and lost, just like when he fell from the Bifrost. That memory filled his head and suddenly he couldn’t breathe. Odin wouldn’t send him to _him_ , right?

When he finally landed, he was too scared to open his eyes. First thing he noticed were sounds. It didn’t sound like that barren planet he landed on years ago, but it was somehow familiar. He allowed one eye to open. It was dark, but soon his sight adjusted and he saw a brick wall. He was confused at first, but then it hit him. Midgard.

Loki stood up and looked around. There was nothing that would suggest where exactly he was. It was some kind of alley, it was small and dirty with a few dumpsters lining the wall. Did Odin choose this place on purpose? Loki snorted. _Of course he did._

After some hesitation, he stepped into the street. It was night-time, but there were still some mortals wandering around, mostly drunken youngsters and homeless people. Loki hoped that none of them would recognise him and so he started walking. There were tall buildings on both sides of the street that shielded the rest of the city and made it impossible for him to determine where he was.

He came to a crossroad, turned right and then saw it. In a distance one particular building shone more than the others, Stark Tower. It was different than what Loki remembered and there was a big A instead of a Stark on its side. Loki made a disgusted sound and turned away. He wanted to be as far as possible from those puny mortals that called themselves the Avengers.

He went for hours when his legs started trembling and he had to stop. It took him only a moment to realise what was happening. His mortal body was already getting tired. “This will get annoying after a while,” he murmured to himself, but decided to stop and rest. When he looked behind, the tower was only a small speck on a horizon.

Loki sat there on the ground longer than he intended. The colour of the sky started changing from black to a pinkish blue and all the stars gradually disappeared. He didn’t realise it until people started filling the streets, some of them casting him puzzled looks. He stood up and continued walking in an opposite direction of Stark Tower. He had to hide somewhere or else he could get into a trouble.

He found another small alley and sat there behind a pile of boxes. This was unacceptable and humiliating. What would Thor think if he saw him like that? Loki hissed at the thought. He was not going to think about Thor, not now, not ever. He closed his eyes and let himself relax a bit. He didn’t even realise that he had fallen asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

_Loki hid behind a bush and eyed wild boar just a few steps away. It never took him that long to catch something as petty as a boar, but his brother was incapable of being silent for more than five minutes, startling the animal every time Loki almost got it._

_Said brother soon appeared behind a bush near him, gripping Mjolnir tightly in one hand. Loki told him that it was totally idiotic idea to go on a hunt with a hammer, but Thor insisted on bringing his new weapon. Maybe young Loki was a bit jealous of it, but he would never admit it to Thor._

_The boar, not knowing about brothers hiding behind the bushes, peacefully chewed on something hidden in the grass. Loki took that moment to swiftly toss one of his knives at its neck, missing artery just by mere millimetres. Before he could throw another knife Thor jumped from behind the bush with a loud roar – Loki merely rolled his eyes – and tossed his hammer at a wounded boar, hitting its head and killing it._

_Loki emerged from his hiding place to step next to his brother who conjured Mjolnir back to his hand, then turned to him with a wide grin and put the other hand on his shoulder. Loki was never overly fond of hunting, but he cherished moments like this dearly. They just smiled at each other for a while, but then Thor put his hand on Loki’s side, moving it slowly to his pocket. Loki’s eyes widened in surprise. The hand frantically searched for something, not only in his pockets, but in every fold of his clothes._

Loki stirred and a man hesitated for a bit, pulling his hand away from a sleeping god. He haven’t found anything useful yet, but he decided to give up and leave anyway. Few bucks weren’t worth the problem if he woke up and decided to call the police. He was just standing up when god’s eyes suddenly opened.

Loki’s vision was blurry from sleep, but he already knew someone was standing in front of him. The dream was too realistic and he soon realised that something was wrong. When his eyes finally focused he saw an elderly man in a ragged clothes backing away from him. This man wanted to rob him!

Without any hesitation he launched himself at the man and hit him in a jaw with his fist. And then again, and again. He would’ve continued if someone haven’t pulled him back. Loki reflexively turned to hit whoever dared to touch him, but instead he got hit in a face by a person’s fist. He staggered, but managed to remain standing, however, the next blow hit him in a stomach and Loki fell on his back, hitting concrete with a heavy thud.

“Don’t get up, I warn you!” The man that hit him stood above him. Loki wanted to fight, he wanted to kill him, but when he tried to stand up a sudden stab of pain in his stomach stopped him from doing so. He winced and slowly lay back. The man looked pleased, then turned and along with the other man disappeared from Loki’s view, leaving him alone in the alley.

Loki remained lying there, blood slowly flowing from his nose, down his cheek and disappearing into his hair. Yesterday he was a king, now he was nothing. The feeling of helplessness obscured all of his other emotions, the same feeling he had when he crashed onto that godforsaken planet, met _him_ and made a mistake of refusing his deal. Loki shook his head to get rid of those thoughts, but the action only caused him a headache. He winced, although more from annoyance then the pain.

After some time he managed to sit up and as if it wasn’t enough, his stomach rumbled. Loki couldn’t help it and laughed silently at the irony of it all. He always thought mortals were weak, but only now he realised how pitiful they really were. And where in the Valhalla would he get food from? It’s not like someone would bring it to him.

It was hard to move, his stomach and head hurt and he decided that he could go without a meal for a little bit longer.

After an hour he finally tried to stand up again. His whole body was sore, but he was determined to get up at any case. The sun was already setting, casting dark shadows into the alleyway and Loki slowly made his way into the street. There was still a lot of people, but his thirst and hunger drove him forward.

He knew that Midgardians bought food with that ridiculous paper money, which he didn’t have – but could conjure if he had his magic – leaving him with no other option then to steal. Not that it bothered him, he just didn’t want to get caught.

At the other side of the street he saw a small shop with a crates of fruit at the entrance. _Easy target._ He wiped the blood from his face and looked at his clothes. He was still wearing his Asgardian attire, which would draw unnecessary attention, but if he’s quick, no one will notice. As soon as he got to the shop, he grabbed two apples, hid them under his coat and made his way down the street like nothing ever happened. It worked and soon Loki was munching a delicious apple.

It reminded him of the times when he was younger and he used to steal sweets from the kitchen. He was always swift and they never caught him. Loki smiled at that memory but then he remembered something else; he used to share them with Thor sometimes. Why was his mind always wandering to that pathetic, witless fool? He tried to banish those thoughts and rather focused on leaving the street unnoticed.

The minutes passed and warm sunlight was replaced by the artificial one, but Loki wasn’t tired yet – he slept most of the day after all. He saw an empty bench at the edge of a small park and went to sit on it.

Despite the light from the city he could see few stars in the sky. At first he felt sadness and longing for his once-home, but it was quickly replaced by anger. Somewhere far away a gatekeeper was probably looking at him and laughing. He averted his gaze from the sky and rather focused on the trees. It was early autumn and leafs were already starting to change their colour, some of them still green, some yellow and a few of them orange.

Loki was so concentrated on the colours that he didn’t notice someone approaching him. He turned just in time to see fist reaching for his cheek, but with immortality he also lost his reflexes. It hit him with such power, his head jerked to the side and red spots appeared in his vision. He didn’t have a chance to recover from the blow when hands appeared on his shoulders and pulled him standing. Another blow hit him in the side, making his whole ribcage ache, then again and Loki would have sworn that he heard something crack. He fell to the ground and gritted his teeth at the sharp pain filling his whole torso. He spat the blood and looked up, and then immediately froze in place. Before him stood Clint Barton.

“Hawkeye. What a nice surprise,” he said with his voice fortunately steady. Loki knew it wasn’t a good idea to provoke the agent, but it was in his nature. He wanted to look strong and confident – he was! – despite the fact that he was on a ground and covered in his own blood. On the other hand, he was also scared, knowing that this mortal once wanted to _put an arrow through his eye socket_ and probably still wants. Was he going to kill him?

Clint had to see his uncertainty because he smirked down at him and said, “I thought I’m never gonna see your ugly face again. Did you get bored in your cell and came here to get your ass kicked again?”

The anger filled Loki’s whole body and despite the searing pain in his side he stood up. Without thinking he swung his hand towards Clint’s face, but the agent easily ducked it and kicked him in a leg. He fell back to the ground only to be kicked again, this time in a face. For a second he felt agonizing pain and then nothing.

Clint bent over the god and shook him – not particularly gently – but there was no response. _This guy survived slamming into the ground by Hulk,_ _how can he be already unconscious?_ He should probably call SHIELD. _Or_ he could take care of it himself. At first that idea unnerved him, but the longer he thought about it, the more tempting it looked. He could finally get his revenge.

Clint made sure that nobody was around, picked the god and made his way home with him. An hour later he had Loki bound to a chair in the middle of his basement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything I know about human body and mind is from movies and internet, so if something is inaccurate, I'm sorry. Hope you're enjoying it so far.


	3. Chapter 3

Loki woke up to a searing pain in his whole body. His head was throbbing and he felt like a wild Bilgesnipe kicked him in a chest – which actually happened once and it definitely wasn’t a pleasant experience.

He wanted to stretch his arms to relieve at least some of the pain, but they wouldn’t move. _That’s odd._ He tried again with the same result, then finally decided to open his eyes only to be greeted by the image of Clint Barton sitting in the chair before him. Memories of yesterday’s evening were coming back to his mind and Loki unwittingly shivered.

The agent watched him but didn’t say anything, so Loki decided to take that opportunity to look around. He was in a dark, quite spacious room with various objects scattered around, the only source of light were two small windows to his left. This wasn’t a cell. Then he looked down and realised why his arms wouldn’t move. Not only his wrists, but also ankles were bound to a chair, making it almost impossible to move.

“Why are you on Earth?” Clint decided to finally break the silence.

Loki jumped a little at the sudden sound and internally cursed himself for it. He wasn’t going to show any sign of unease, so despite all of his pain he straightened in his chair and looked directly at the agent. “Is this interrogation?” he asked confidently.

Clint smiled which just made Loki more nervous. “No. I was just curious.” However, there was no curiosity in his voice and the look on his face told Loki exactly what the man wanted.

“Are you going to kill me?” he asked, but it was question he already knew the answer to.

“Eventually, yes.”

Loki was ready to die when he let go of Gungnir almost three years ago. He was ready to die when he saved Thor’s girlfriend from the Kurse’s grenade. He thought that he was ready to die now too, but when he heard those two simple words he only felt terrified. He was aware that those emotions were showing on his face, but he couldn’t care less. Is this going to be the end of Loki, the God of Mischief? Helpless, bound to a chair, killed by a mortal?

Barton was talking again, but Loki couldn’t make out the words. He saw him standing up from the chair, but couldn’t think of why. Then the agent hit him in a jaw and Loki’s mind cleared. He’s going to die eventually, but until then he was at Barton’s mercy.

Clint saw the fear in Loki’s eyes and felt a hint of pity for him. _No!_ He punched him again to get rid of those feelings. _This is what he deserves._ He didn’t stop punching until Loki’s face wasn’t a complete mess. It felt good, but also so very wrong. Just looking at the Trickster made him rage, but that sad, pathetic look on his face… “Damn it,” he murmured and quickly left the basement.

Loki tried to be strong for a long time, but his face hurt too much and he couldn’t stop a pathetic whimper from escaping his mouth. This mortal body was too weak, he couldn’t possibly survive this for more than a week. Fortunately Hawkeye left the room and Loki could relax – at least he thought he could. Sharp stabs of pain shot into his chest with every breath and his face was constantly on fire.

After some time the bleeding from his nose finally stopped, but the pain didn’t subside. It was keeping him from rational thinking, instead providing him memories he tried to forget. This constant pain, feeling of helplessness and impossibility to escape was too similar to what he went through in the hands of _Thanos_ and his goons. Why with the pain always came these memories? It was like a curse to remind him what would happen if they caught him again. _Except they won’t!_ Without the tesseract it would take years to get to Midgard and by that time he will be long dead. With that in mind, he decided to never think about them again.

The following minutes were passing agonisingly slow and Loki started to wish for a sweet unconsciousness. Did Odin know what would happen to him on Midgard? Was this the real punishment? He wanted to scream, kill Barton and the rest of those damn Avengers, but most of all he wanted to see Odin on his knees, humiliated and defeated. He started tugging on a restraints with all his remaining strength until his wrists were bleeding, but they didn’t loosen a bit and soon his anger evaporated.

He was so tired, not only physically but mentally as well. After Thor’s coronation everything started to crumble, his whole life proved to be a lie and when he thought it could all finally end… Loki couldn’t take it anymore and screamed until his voice gave out.

Clint sat in an armchair and thought about the man in his basement. Bringing him here seemed like a good idea at first, but now he started to doubt his decision. Killing your enemy was one thing, but torturing? Hawkeye was supposed to be a hero – yet he killed innocent people under Loki’s influence. Suddenly all his doubts disappeared and got replaced by anger. It filled his whole body. Clint stood abruptly, ready to go down and punch the shit out of the god when a horrible sound permeated from the place. Was it screaming?

When he finally reached the basement, he found Loki slumped in the chair, but still fully awake. Just looking at him made him so furious he could hulk out. “Shut your fucking mouth,” Clint shouted and then punched him to make his point.

Loki let out a quiet groan, not caring about looking strong anymore. His whole face was bruised and even the slightest movement hurt. All he wanted now was to sleep and though his mind was obscured by pain, he somehow formed a plan to achieve that. It was crazy, definitely the worst plan he ever had, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Loki gathered all his strength and lifted his head with a wicked smile. “That’s all you’ve got?” Now he just prepared for the blow.

Clint reddened with anger and punched him so hard, Loki fell with the chair to the ground, then he took that chance to kick him in a chest and abdomen. Only after his anger slightly subsided did he notice that the Trickster fell unconscious again. _Is this some kind of a trick?_ He knew that after such vicious beating every normal man would fall unconscious, but Loki was a god – or demigod, whatever. And it happened yesterday as well, after only few good-aimed punches and a kick to the face.

Even though it was puzzling, Clint decided to leave it be for now, he had to get to the SHIELD headquarters anyways. He checked the god’s restrains and then locked the basement. He always felt uncertain about leaving him alone – he could escape and try to take over the world again or something – but after seeing him like that he wasn’t so sure anymore.

-O-

Clint didn’t expect that they’d need Hawkeye for the action and after four hours in a field he started being nervous. It was probably irrational, Loki shouldn’t wake up any time soon, right?

“Clint? Do you copy?” Steve’s voice came from his earpiece.

“Ehm, what?” He was so distracted by his worries that he didn’t notice Steve talking to him. He should focus on the fight and maybe he’d be home sooner.

“I said we need you down here,” Captain sounded slightly out of breath and when Clint looked down from his spot on the roof, he noted that Steve and Natasha were surrounded. They were quite far, but it was no problem for Hawkeye.

“No need,” he smirked and without aiming he let the arrow loose, hitting the enemy right in the heart. He repeated it few times and soon his teammates were free again.

The rest of the fight went without any further problems and after another hour they were back at the headquarters. Clint found himself fidgeting with his bow few times and had to force himself to stop. If he was asked why he was so nervous, what would he say? Fortunately no one noticed and when they were dismissed, Clint quietly left the room and headed back home.

He found Loki still unconscious, which was good, but it made him slightly nervous. The god was a complete mess, every visible part of his skin was bruised, there were two lines of dried blood under his nose and skin on his wrists was raw and bloodied as well. _Should he not be healing already?_ It was either a trick or Clint was missing something important.


	4. Chapter 4

When Loki woke up again, it was still dark outside and it took him a moment to realize where he was. Only now he started to see how truly dumb his plan was. Despite what must’ve been hours of sleep he felt more exhausted than ever and what he thought was agonizing pain before, turned into an always present fire consuming his body and mind alike.

Moreover, his mouth felt like a desert and he realised that it was at least 24 hours since he drank or ate anything. Again, this stupid mortal body proved itself pathetically weak. How long can it last without sustenance anyway?

That’s when Loki started to worry. Would Barton choose a quick death or would he keep him alive for weeks or even months until he begs for death? Just the thought made him shudder. Surely the agent couldn’t be _that_ cruel.

After a while the sun finally started to rise, its light and warmth filling the cool basement. When it touched Loki’s skin, he relaxed a bit and let himself enjoy it as much as possible. The pain was still there and he knew that it wasn't going away any time soon – if ever – but it definitely wasn’t going to ruin his moment of peace.

He let his mind wander, think about everything and nothing and for a moment he wasn’t in the basement anymore. He didn’t think about Asgard though, rather recalled memories of his many visits of Alfheim, the realm of light elves. If he tried really hard, he could even smell the flowers that grew around the castle.

Suddenly the door slammed and Loki jerked violently, the movement causing his broken ribs to scrape against one another. He gasped, then immediately bit his lip to stifle his scream, but even that caused him more pain. He could’t take another beating, not now!

But the agent only sat in the chair opposite his and watched him silently. Loki contemplated about asking for a cup of water for a long time, but even though the thirst was almost unbearable, he decided not to. Barton would never see him beg.

Clint just sat in his chair and tried to read Loki’s expressions. There had to be a reason why he couldn’t heal himself or escape. The god looked like hell, face red and purple, left eye swollen, lips broken and bleeding, wrists raw and bloodied and Clint just couldn’t figure out why. If it was indeed a trick, what was its end goal? Maybe he’s waiting for the right moment to strike…

Loki watched as Barton abruptly stood up and took a few steps back. _That was unexpected_. He stood there for a while, then turned and left the room. Loki was seriously confused by the agent’s behaviour, but also very glad that he was gone.

However, Barton was back in a few seconds, this time with his bow aiming right at his face. Loki’s eyes widened in shock. _I’m not ready. I’m not ready!_ But he knew it would happen eventually. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and prepared for the inevitable. He waited…

The bow was just a precaution, means to protect himself in case his theory proved to be right. He didn’t expect _that_. The god was silent and unmoving, his eyes closed as if waiting for death. _Shit!_ Either this guy was a really good actor or he was genuinely expecting to be killed now. And he looked… terrified. This was a really good time for some questioning. Clint lowered his bow and coughed to get god’s attention.

Loki slowly opened his eyes and the first thing that he noticed was that the bow wasn’t aimed at him anymore. He didn’t have a time to ponder about it though, because Barton was speaking again.

“Okay, it’s time to answer some questions. First of all, what the fuck are you doing on Earth? Because if it’s some elaborate plan of yours, it’s not gonna work.” Barton looked at him expectedly, probably waiting for an answer, but Loki wasn’t going to tell him anything. If he was going to die anyway, why abase himself. He was humiliated enough when Barton made him whimper and cry like some pathetic child.

“I asked you a question,” he shouted and drew his bow again. Loki saw him hesitate and wondered what was he going to do, but what actually happened never occurred to him. With a lighting speed an arrow embedded itself into his thigh. It took him a second to realize what’ve just happened, but then the pain registered and there was nothing he could do but scream.

Clint wasn’t stupid, he knew exactly where to shoot to do minimum damage but cause a lot of pain. He waited for a moment, then spoke, “Let’s start again. When I ask you a question, you answer it. Understand?”

Despite hating himself for it, Loki gave him a small nod. When Barton repeated his previous question, he hesitated just for a second before answering. “I was banished from Asgard.”

Clint didn’t know if he should laugh or yell, instead he just stared at the god with wide eyes. _Is he kidding?_ “Wait,” he put his bow on a ground and pulled a chair to sit on, then continued, “How long have you been on Earth?”

“Few days,” Loki said after some hesitation. He could’ve lied, but what would he gain from that? Nothing. So he just played along and hoped that Barton would leave him soon. No such luck though. Following minutes were filled with meaningless questions and curt answers, Loki carefully choosing his words to not give away something he would regret later. Then the unfortunate question came.

“This was bothering me for a while. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting anything,” Barton said with narrowed eyes, “But why don’t you just escape?”

And what should he say now? Truth, that he is just a pathetic mortal and _can’t_ escape, or create some clever lie and then what? It probably took him too long to answer because Barton scowled, grabbed the arrow still stuck in Loki’s thigh and twisted. Loki yelped and bit his lower lip. “I can’t,” he managed to say through gritted teeth, just wishing for the pain to stop.

“Can’t, huh? And why is that?”

There were tears gathering at the corners of his eyes and Loki felt desperate. Didn’t he deserve to keep at least some of his dignity?

Clint was waiting for an answer, but the only thing he got were tears. Loki, of all people, was crying before him. _What the actual…_ “Okay, fuck this,” he said mostly to himself, gathered his things and turned to leave, when suddenly a quiet sound from behind him made him stop. He turned to look at the Trickster and waited.

“Water,” Loki whispered again without looking up. There was silence for a few seconds, then footsteps and sound of doors closing. More tears found their way down his cheeks.

He was getting soft. Loki deserved everything he’s done to him, so why was he pitying him now? Clint swore when he opened a cabinet and some boxes fell on his head. He was getting as far as getting some bandage for his leg. _Fucking hell._

When he got back to the basement, Loki was crying silently. Clint decided not to comment on it. When he reached for the arrow, Loki flinched and his first instinct was to assure him that it was gonna be okay. _Like really,_ really _soft._ He managed to get the arrow out and put some bandage on the wound – he couldn’t do it properly with the man still bound to a chair though. He then proceeded to get the bottle of water he brought with him and tilted it so Loki could drink from it.

Back in his kitchen Clint decided that he had to get out, get some fresh air and think about all this crap. He took his jacket and left the house.

Hours passed with nothing happening and Loki started to doze off. However, every time his head lolled to the side and he jolted awake, his many injuries made themselves known. The broken ribs were definitely the worst. Every breath was uncomfortable and it was driving him mad. When The Other broke them – or even that green beast – it took him only one day at best to heal them.

Another hour passed before he finally fell into a restless sleep and after many months, nightmares returned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry (not sorry).


	5. Chapter 5

It took him a while, but eventually Clint decided to get over his feelings, give the Trickster what he deserved and end it. The sooner he’d get rid of him, the sooner he could get back to his normal life.

Loki’s days were filled with pain and humiliation, his nights not much better. Since that third night in Barton’s basement nightmares were his constant companions. Sometimes they were just recollections of his day, only worse, but sometimes he was back _there_. He tried to push those in the back of his mind where he would fortunately forget about them.

This night wasn’t any better. Loki woke up with a scream, sweaty and shaking. For how long would he have to endure this? He had already lost track of days, but it couldn’t have been more than two weeks.

Then there was the never-ending pain. His ribs and face just started healing themselves when Barton came and broke them anew. He could no longer see through his left eye, breathing was causing him pain and after yesterday he couldn’t move his left hand’s fingers. Barton broke them all.

And it’s not only Loki’s body that was getting broken. Every time Barton entered his improvised cell, he started to shake like a leaf. His mind, his best weapon, was failing him. Again.

Few days ago he’s also started to hear and see things. When he saw Thor for the first time, he yelled at him until Barton came and gave him a different reason to yell. Second time he burst into tears. He knew it wasn’t real, it couldn’t, but he was glad nonetheless. Thor’s somber look was the only reason he hasn’t given up yet. _I’m not weak, brother. Look._

So when he heard a buzzing sound from upstairs and then two muffled voices, he didn’t pay it much attention. Soon enough a figure appeared before him. He slowly raised his head and when his sight focused and he saw who it was, Loki froze. “Mother,” he rasped.

Frigga was as beautiful and regal as the last time he saw her. Tears filled his eyes immediately and in that moment Loki didn’t care that it wasn’t real. “I’m sorry mother, I’m so sorry. It was my fault,” he babbled with his hoarse voice while tears were falling down his cheeks. He wanted to apologise, explain everything, but then she started to fade away and Loki cried in desperation.

Doors to the basement flew open and Loki immediately regretted his outburst, until he saw that Barton wasn’t alone. He felt a spark of hope, that he could get out of here, that this person would help him, but all that hope shattered when he heard silent Мой Бог. Natasha Romanoff.

“I can explain,” Clint spoke into the silence. Natasha turned to him with a stormy expression and he winced inwardly. He hoped that no one would find out and so he wasn’t ready to explain it to anyone. “Maybe we could speak upstairs?” he asked, trying to buy himself some time.

Natasha cast Loki one last look, then turned and walked away without another word. There was no more time for stalling, so when she demanded explanation, Clint told her about everything since he found the god in that park. _Almost_ everything.

“Oh Clint,” she sighed and put a hand on his shoulder. Okay, he wasn’t expecting that. At his confused look she sighed again. “I get why you’ve done it, but we have to call SHIELD. You got your revenge, now let them handle it.”

She was right of course, but what was he supposed to tell them? That he was torturing the world’s most wanted criminal for weeks? He asked Natasha the same thing.

“Just tell them you’ve found him already like that. He has a lot of enemies, I wouldn’t be surprised if someone else took their revenge on him.” Her voice was light, but Clint knew her well and noticed in her posture that she was nervous too. There was a lot that could go wrong after all. “And if Loki says something else, it’d be our word against word of God of Lies,” she added as an afterthought.

Natasha was a good liar and the whole thing sounded plausible, but Clint was still a bit anxious. If his friends found out, could he still call himself an Avenger? On the other hand, the idea of being rid of Loki sounded very nice. At that thought he finally picked up his phone and made a call.

Loki waited in a silent basement for what felt like hours, but he couldn’t be sure, the only way to measure time being his own increasing urge to relieve himself. Then there was the buzzing sound again. What did it mean? Another Avengers? He waited for a few more seconds, then doors opened and a small crowd of SHIELD agents poured inside, all of them pointing their guns at him. Next were Barton and none other than the head of the SHIELD, Director Fury.

Fury regarded Loki with narrowed eye. “What happened to him?” he asked in a tone that clearly said that he didn’t really care.

“Probably got into a street fight, don’t know, I’ve already found him like that,” Clint lied with a surprisingly steady voice. However, he got a feeling that even if he confessed, Fury wouldn’t care. There was this glint in his eye, which made him even more intimidating.

Everything that happened after passed in a blur. They untied Loki from his chair, bound his hands behind his back – which appeared to be quite painful with all the bruises and broken bones – even tied his feet. And then he was gone. Clint didn’t think he would feel so relieved.

Loki was shaking. There was a big black vehicle waiting on a driveway and even though he finally got outside, he couldn’t enjoy it. He didn’t know what to expect from Fury and that scared him even more than Barton’s promise of death.

An hour long ride passed in silence and Loki spent it hunched over, trying to avoid eye contact. Fury was in a front and didn’t pay him any attention, but the agents that sat back with him cast him various looks, usually that of disdain or disgust. He didn’t want to imagine what they were thinking.

The place they’ve arrived at was a low, nondescript building with a lot of elevators and corridors. They took him down and in front of a thick metallic door.

“This is your new home,” Fury announced before pushing Loki through the door into a small room. After just minutes of walking his legs were shaking and he almost fell to the ground. Once inside, the agents took off his cuffs and exited, leaving Loki alone with Director.

Loki wanted to sit down on that comfortable-looking cot in a corner, but didn’t dare to do it. There were also toilet and sink, which he was extremely grateful for. Only if he would be left alone…

“So, I’ve heard that you were exiled,” Fury finally spoke. “I take that as a permission to deal with you ourselves. You see, for what you’ve done on Earth you deserve a death sentence, but that would be a wasted opportunity.”

Only when Loki bumped into the wall did he realise that he was slowly backing off. He wasn’t tied to a chair anymore, but what awaited him was even worse, for there was no end to look forward to. Suddenly Fury was standing before him, some silver device in his hands. “Just a precaution,” he said as an explanation, then put a device around Loki’s neck. It was a collar.

“There,” he said with a smug expression before leaving Loki alone. The door closed with a few loud clicks and then there was only silence.

Loki wanted to cry. And why not? He settled down on the cot, taking no pleasure from it, and wept silently into his good hand. Too soon there were no tears left and he just sat there, looking at nothing in particular. Not for the first time he wished that instead of exile the Allfather would've killed him.

Then locks clicked again and door opened. Despite being afraid, Loki was ready for almost anything, but what happened next truly surprised him. Along two armed agents there was a man in white coat, a doctor, carrying a bag full of healing equipment. Why would they heal him? He didn’t have a chance to think about it much though, because soon the pills they forced him to eat took effect and everything faded to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, I have been incredibly busy lately, though I've found some time to watch the Endgame. Have you seen it? Did you like it?


	6. Chapter 6

It was strange to wake up in a brightly lit room, lying on a comfortable mattress after weeks of sitting in a chair. As Loki sat up he immediately realized few thinks. His clothes were replaced with some simple grey garb and his injuries were truly taken care of. However, that also meant that his ribs had to be broken anew and set to heal properly. Loki just decided not to move much.

There was also something around his neck. Loki mentally slapped himself the second he remembered it was the collar Fury had put on him. He didn’t know what it was for yet, but maybe that was for good.

He used the toilet, drank from the faucet, but that was all he could really do here. So he waited. Maybe they’d come to question him, or beat him, or maybe both. If that was the case, he would tell them everything they wanted, just to be left alone. It took him just a few days in Barton’s basement to realize that pride brought more pain. And he should’ve known, Thanos told him so many times, but he didn’t listen then. Now he has finally learned.

It wasn’t enough for Odin though, it never was. If only Loki was more like Thor, the golden son… _Thor._ Did he know where Loki was and what happened to him? Would he care if he knew?

He was pulled from those thoughts by the sound of doors unlocking and he instinctively backed away from them. A man walked in and put a tray with food before him. Loki eyed it suspiciously, but at the end he couldn’t resist and ate all of it. When he was with Barton, he only ate when the man remembered to feed him, so not very often.

He was already feeling much better and it was making him uneasy. He’s seen the way Fury looked at him, and not only now, but two years ago as well. The man was ready to not only protect the Earth, but also avenge it. He said it himself, that killing him would be a wasted opportunity.

However, hours passed and still no one appeared. Loki would be glad for that if he wasn’t so damn nervous. But soon his nervousness was replaced by boredom. Were they going to leave him alone forever? Without anything better to do Loki decided to go back to sleep.

The next day was the same as yesterday and it was quickly getting on Loki’s nerves. He always preferred to be alone, but he had his books then, where now his only companions were his thoughts. And that could be a very dangerous companion. Time passed.

The next day man with the healing equipment returned and forced him to eat the pills again. When Loki woke up, the bandages were replaced. Not long after that the food arrived and again, Loki ate it all.

Another day and still no one except the two men appeared, not even the hallucinations he’s been seeing in the basement. Loki missed Thor. He never thought that he would say that, but he truly did. His brother was always there, ready to cheer him up when he was sad or angry, making fool of himself just to make his younger brother laugh. But this time Loki was all alone.

When the man with food came the next day, Loki ignored him. He was done with the silence, with the never-ending circle of sleeping, eating and remembering what he once had. But that was a mistake. The agent pulled a small device from his pocked and before Loki could react, the collar around his neck activated, sending bolts of lightning through his body. He fell to the floor, convulsing in pure agony, twitching even after the electricity stopped.

“Eat,” the man said calmly and Loki took the bowl in his shaky hands, once again eating all of its content. He was angry, but most of all he was terrified. Thor zapped him many times, but it never felt like that. It never hurt that much. His fingers still twitched from time to time and the skin of his neck was tender, most likely reddened by the abuse.

The pain was bad, yes, but the fact that they've used his brother’s power against him was even worse. He never wanted to feel that again, and so he ate everything they gave him, not caring if it’s poisoned or not. He was disgusted by himself.

-O-

Days went by and Loki got more and more restless. His bruises almost completely disappeared and his bones were slowly mending themselves, but Fury never showed. What was he waiting for? For Loki to heal completely, so he could break him anew? It was maddening. He started pacing around his cell, occasionally casting glances at a small camera placed above the door, as if by doing so he could summon the director. Anyone, really. But no one appeared.

Nick Fury watched as the god paced around his cell, sometimes looking directly into the camera. _What is he up to?_ It’s been nine days since they brought him here and he haven’t tried to escape or talk his way out once. Could what Barton said be true? He turned away from the monitors showing god’s cell, ready to leave for the day, when he was stopped by one of his research agents that had Loki in charge. “Anything new?” he asked the agent. They’ve been testing Loki’s blood for days, but with no ground-breaking results. It was as if his blood was same as common human’s.

The agent shook his head. “Another three tests were done with the same results. I think it’s futile to continue with testing the blood, sir. We should move on to the skin and hair samples, and spinal fluid.” He handed director tablet with the results, which he quickly scanned and returned to the agent. Nick nodded and turned back to the monitors. If it didn’t work, it was time for the plan B.

Loki sat down, exhausted by all that pacing, when the door _finally_ opened. But it was just the man with the healing equipment again. Loki considered refusing the pills, but quickly decided against it, remembering the agony of being electrified by the collar. As his eyes started to close, he glimpsed something shiny in the man’s hands.

Loki woke up slightly dizzy, a memory of his nightmare still fresh in his mind, and as he tried to sit up, a sudden pain flared from his lower back. He reached with his hand and felt a bandage there. There was also bandage on his left arm and he could feel a slight stinging from beneath it. _What did they do?_ Then he realised another thing. His long hair was gone. They cut it.

Loki jumped from the cot and started pacing around, trying to calm down. _It’s just a hair, don’t freak out._ Few minutes passes where he walked from one end of the room to the other, but then he had so sit back down. The pain in his back became almost unbearable, shifting his attention from his hair back to the bandages. He couldn’t really check what was wrong with his back, but his arm was easily reachable. He slowly started to unroll the bandage and when it was finally gone, Loki gasped. The whole patch of skin was missing.

In his shock Loki hasn’t noticed the sound of doors unlocking and suddenly there was a hand on his arm, trying to pull it away from the bloody wound. Without thinking he pushed the man away and a second later the collar activated. As the first time, Loki collapsed on the ground, trashing and whimpering in pain. After the electricity stopped, he remained lying on the cold floor as the agent rewrapped the injury and left without the word.

He hasn’t cried since the day he arrived here, but now tears freely fell from his eyes. Loki wasn’t stupid and quickly realised what they were doing, but that wasn’t the reason he cried. The reason was rather simple. He wasn’t a man anymore, merely an object to be studied. Less than an ant. Nobody.

He carefully climbed onto bed and laid down, facing the wall. How long could he possibly go like that before he goes crazy again? Would he ever get out of this small, painfully bright room? He lay unmoving for what felt like hours and after a very long time Loki whished somebody would come and save him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, kudos and lovely comments, you're awesome!


	7. Chapter 7

After another week and dozens of tests Nick Fury started to lose his patience. All they’ve learned from the samples was that their resident god had weak immune system and was prone to diseases. It had to be true, then. Loki was mortal. Which also meant that Nick had no further use for him.

He turned away from the monitors and left the room, hopefully for the last time. He had more important things to do than watch over Loki, especially now that he knew he wasn’t going to escape. However, before he could turn the corner and completely forget about this section of SHIELD headquarters, he was stopped by one of his agents.

“Sir,” the agent called and Nick reluctantly turned around. “What about Loki?”

“He’s all yours,” he said and in a next second was gone. If he waited just a second longer, he would notice a dark smirk that appeared on the agent’s face. All Nick wished for, however, was to be finally rid of those crazy villains.

Loki hoped that after they’ve cut his hair, someone else would finally come, but nothing has really changed. Two agents came and went, never uttering a single word and in his loneliness Loki started to speak to himself, not caring if he looked like he’s finally lost it. One time he even pretended that Thor was there, but after a minute he burst into tears and couldn’t continue. The truth was that he wished for his brother to really be there more than anything else.

He lie on his cot, looking at the boring white ceiling, so reminiscent of his cell on Asgard, yet so different. “Heimdall,” he whispered to it and had to take a few steading breaths afterwards to continue. “Tell father that I’m sorry. I want to go home. Please.” Before he could say anything else though, the door opened and a single agent entered. Loki sat up and looked at the man. He wasn’t carrying any food or healing equipment and it made him nervous. “What do you want?” he risked asking.

The agent didn’t say anything, rather pulled out a familiar black devise from his pocked and before Loki could protest, he pressed the single button. The collar activated, sending lightning bolts through Loki’s body, and soon all he could think about was the searing pain and his inability to control his body. But the agent didn’t stop. It went like that for minutes, Loki writhing in pain and unable to even scream.

He was on the edge of unconsciousness when it finally stopped. The agent was saying something, but Loki couldn’t hear the words through the buzzing in his ears. When the effects of the electricity finally started to wear off and he was able to look around, the man was already gone. Gradually feeling returned to his limbs and when he sat up, he noticed his pants were wet. Tears filled his eyes, from pain and humiliation both.

Loki thought that nothing could’ve been worse than his year with Thanos, but now he wasn’t so sure. Yes, he was hurting back then, maybe even more than now, but it had been _different_. They had a use for him and he only had to agree to be part of their plan for the pain to stop. Now he could only take it and hope it would stop soon.

After another several minutes of wallowing in his misery he stood up and made his way to the sink on his wobbly legs. Everything still hurt, especially where that damned collar rubbed against the skin of his neck, but he doubted they’d give him something for it. They clearly wanted him to suffer. But why now? Why so suddenly? He let go of those thoughts to concentrate on carefully taking off his pants and underwear. He washed them and then hanged them on the edge of the sink to dry.

Afterwards he sat on his cot, draped in his only blanket. “Heimdall, please,” he whispered into the silence. Nothing. Nobody was going to save him, and it was only his fault. He lie down and closed his eyes, but he was unable to fall asleep. His body still hurt so much and his mind wouldn’t stop working, producing images of possible tortures and of those he already went through.

It must have been hours later when Loki finally fell asleep. However, his dreams were filled with monsters and lightning all around him, and he woke up with a start after what felt like only minutes of sleep. It was difficult to tell what was worse, those dreams or reality.

After a few minutes in bed he stood up to put on his dried pants. They were still a filthy and uncomfortable, but there was nothing he could do about it. In fact, Loki was glad he had clothes at all. _It could have been worse_. With that thought in mind Loki returned to his cot and sat down, pulling the blanket around himself. “It could have been worse,” he repeated aloud, but it came out as a hoarse whisper.

Hours went by and Loki spent it sitting on a bed, sometimes standing up to drink from a faucet or use a toilet, but that was all. “It could have been worse,” he kept repeating to himself, but soon those words lost their meaning. He was miserable and in that moment it seemed like it would never be better. He was hungry and his throat hurt despite drinking cool water to soothe it. After another few hours Loki realised they weren’t going to feed him and went to sleep.

-O-

There was a sound of doors unlocking and it took Loki a second to realise it wasn’t a dream. He quickly sat up and backed away from them, as if it would somehow help him. This time there were two agents, the same one from yesterday – or day before that? – and the one that usually brought him food. But there was no food this time.

They made a step towards him and Loki automatically tensed. He couldn’t see the small black device, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to get hurt, only that they’ve come up with a different method. One of the men grabbed him by the upper arm and pulled him from the bed. He tried to push the man away, but the second one kicked him in a leg and Loki collapsed to the ground. He tried to crawl away from them, but they started kicking him and all he could do was curl up and protect his face and ribs.

“That’s what you deserve, monster,” they shouted as they continued beating him viciously. Loki could feel one of his almost healed ribs crack anew, same as his left hand’s fingers and without a second thought he started begging them to stop. He didn’t think they would really do it, but that’s what happened. “On your knees,” one of them commanded and with a great effort Loki did so. They were clearly enjoying the sight, but he didn’t let them see how much it really hurt, not only physically, but mentally as well. “Ask nicely,” the second one said with a shit-eating grin and Loki had to bite his tongue to not say something he would regret.

He swallowed the last of his pride and looked up at them. “Please, please, leave me alone. I’m begging you.” It seemed to be enough as they snickered, turned around and then left his cell. As soon as the door closed Loki collapsed back to the ground, fighting tears that threatened to spill out. Some of his ribs were definitely broken and the wound on his lower back started to hurt again, not to mention bruises that already started to appear.

But the injuries weren’t his only problem. It’s been almost three days since he ate anything and he could practically feel the hollowness of his stomach. Loki regretted that he didn’t ask for some food when he was already on his knees.

With a great effort he climbed on his bed and curled under the blanket, as he often did. It brought him little comfort, but it was definitely better than nothing. Loki remembered sitting in a single chair for weeks and shivered at the thought. Barton was merciless, beating and humiliating him daily, but for some reason it still wasn’t as bad as this. Maybe it was the constant light, maybe the solitude he was forced to endure, whatever it was, it was driving him mad.

It definitely had nothing to do with Thor. So what if those hallucinations in the basement gave him strength, will to keep going? What if his brother’s recognition and love was everything he ever wanted? Loki has died as a hero, that’s what Thor thought, and maybe that was enough.

As many times before, Loki fell asleep thinking about his brother.


	8. Chapter 8

The next day they brought him food and Loki almost cried from happiness. The soup was cold and bread dry, but it filled his stomach for at least few hours. They also didn’t beat him, but neither took care of his injuries. Loki tried to do it himself, but without magic or proper healing equipment it was futile. He had to move carefully and hope they wouldn’t come back and beat him again before the worst pain was gone.

But that was just wishful thinking. It was obvious that they wanted him to suffer and wouldn’t take his condition into account. So when Loki wasn’t sleeping, he was waiting for the men to appear.

Fortunately, they didn’t come that day and Loki spent it imagining what it would be like if he never left his cell on Asgard. Would Thor be able to save his girlfriend? Avenge mother? If he went with him, but didn’t fake his death, would he just be returned to his cell? He’d never know.

In the morning of the next day – or what Loki presumed was morning – a single agent entered his cell. He was carrying a knife. They stared at each other for a moment, Loki’s breathing quick and panicked, and then both jumped forward at the same time. Loki tried to snatch the knife from the agent’s hand, but he was weak and tired and all he managed was to stumble and hit the wall. _Pathetic._ In a next second he was pinned to that wall, the agent ripping his shirt off. Loki’s eyes widened in fear.

He tried to wriggle away, but when the man pointed knife at his heart, he stopped. Have they changed their mind and decided to finally kill him? Strange sense of peace filled Loki and he closed his eyes, waiting for the final blow. But instead of the quick stab, the blade cut into his skin, causing Loki to scream in pain. He renewed his efforts to get away, but the man had him pinned with all his weight, allowing Loki minimal movement. Only after the man backed away, he realised those were letters carved onto his chest. _Monster,_ it read.

No death for him, only pain and humiliation. Loki collapsed to the ground, ignoring still present agent, and cried. Now everyone could see what he truly was – a monster. It was difficult to scar a god, but he was mortal now, and this would stay with him until he died. Maybe it was good that the only one that’s going to see it were the agents visiting his cell.

He haven’t realised the agent left until his tears have dried and he composed himself a bit. He looked down at his chest with trepidation, already knowing what he’ll see there, but having to do it anyways. Even through all the blood the word was visible, making Loki sick. This was truly the worst thing they could possibly do.

He washed as much as he could, then retrieved his torn shirt and put it on. It did nothing to cover the wound, but it was still able to protect him from the cold at least a little bit. Everything hurt so much and now he had to deal with that as well. He never felt cold before, but now it was in his bones. All of it made him miserable and every day it was more and more difficult to even get up from bed. This felt like a breaking point.

The next day Loki indeed stayed in bed, wrapped in a blanket and facing the wall. When the door unlocked, he didn’t even turn around, waiting for what would happen. He heard a soft click and then there was the electricity again. It didn’t last as long as the last time, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t as painful. I fact, it was even worse, broken ribs scraping against themselves as he writhed in pain, and wounds on his chest reopening and bleeding. He could hear the man snickering behind him, but he didn’t care. There was no point in doing so.

After that he was left alone, and he would’ve spent the rest of the day in bed, if he didn’t have to use the toilet. Loki turned around and froze. “Mother,” he whispered as his eyes focused on a blurry image of his mother. He haven’t seen her since the last day with Barton. He haven’t had hallucinations since then either. She didn’t say anything, as neither of his visions did, but the look on her face said enough. “I miss you so much,” he told her through the tears, before she vanished once again.

Even if he died here, he would never see her ever again. Loki had known for a long time that he wouldn’t end up in Valhalla, rather suffer forever in Hel. He deserved it, but it hurt nonetheless. The worst thing was that he wasn’t able to say goodbye before she died, instead accused her of not being his mother. He was a complete idiot.

He was a complete idiot. Steve Rogers walked these halls at least hundred times and still he somehow got lost. He turned another same-looking corridor and ended up in a hallway filled with doors on both sides. Finally something different, but not what he was looking for. After a minute of wandering, in which he started considering calling Tony, Steve finally saw some agent.

“Excuse me,” he called out and the man turned around. “I was looking for a friend and somehow got lost. Can you tell me where I am?”

The agent looked nervous – Steve hoped he wasn’t fan of Captain America, he really wasn’t in a mood for autographs – but soon he composed himself. “Level -6, research centre,” he answered without a hint of nervousness he showed just a second before. Steve didn’t think much about it, but then something caught his eye. There was a blood on agent’s sleeve.

“Thank you,” he said with a fake smile and turned around, looking for the elevator. He still didn’t know where to go, though now he knew he was on a wrong level. However, as soon as he got to Tony, he was going to ask about this place. Something was off, not only with the man, but this whole place as well. If it was indeed a research centre, Tony would know more.

“What took you so long?” Tony asked in a way of greeting when Steve finally entered the room they were supposed to meet in. After looking at his watch Steve realised he was 15 minutes late. It was a miracle Tony haven’t already left in that time.

“Do you know anything about the research centre on level -6?” he asked instead of answering, not only because he was curious about that place, but because if he said that he got lost, Tony would be making fun of him for at least a week.

“There’s no research centre on that level,” Tony answered and finally turned around. “Why are you asking?”

“I’ve been there and the agent told me it was a research centre. I knew something was off.” He sat down next to his friend, thinking about what he’s seen. Lots of doors. _Cameras_. “Do you still have access to SHIELD’s cameras?” he asked with hope, though he was a little anxious about what they’re gonna find.

“You bet,” Tony answered with a cheeky grin, already pulling out his Stark phone. “What are we looking for? Some dirty secrets? I love those.”

“I want to know what is really on that floor. I’m afraid it won’t be something I’m going to like.” Tony nodded and then Steve watched as the man silently browsed tons of data scrolling through his screen, waiting for a file about some advanced weapons to pop up. They’ve talked about those already, he hoped Fury had learned his lesson. Of course, it could be nothing and Steve just freaked out, though that didn’t feel right. He _knew_ something was wrong.

“Aha!” Tony exclaimed with a triumphant smile, but in the next second it was gone. “Huh,” he murmured and started scrolling through the files again.

“What is it?” Steve asked, trying to look at the screen.

“Seems like SHIELD is keeping prisoners here. Fuck.” He turned the phone for Steve to look at and Steve wished he didn’t. It was a video of a man, lying on a cot in a small windowless cell. He couldn’t see a lot, but it seemed like the man was in pain. He slightly turned and then the blood came into view.

“We have to get him out of here,” Steve said without thinking, already getting up. That man was clearly tortured and that was unacceptable. “Are you going or what?” he asked when he noticed Tony was still sitting in his chair.

“Not so fast, buddy. What do you want to do? You can’t just waltz in there and… and kidnap a well-guarded prisoner.” Steve made a face at his choice of words, but he knew Tony was right. “We need a plan,” he added and looked pointedly at Captain.

“Right, plan,” Steve sighed and fell back to his chair.

“So here’s what we’re gonna do…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been incredibly busy lately (again), but I'll finish this story, _whatever it takes._ Thanks for sticking around, you're all amazing.


	9. Chapter 9

Loki was beaten again that day, leaving him bloodied, hurting and miserable. He stayed in bed for hours, trying not to move much, but it made almost no difference. The simple act of breathing hurt. He should’ve felt anger, disgust or sadness, but all he could feel now was apathy. There was no way to differentiate days from nights, no way to tell when it was going to end. There was no hope in him left.

That cursed sound of the lock pulled him back to present, making him shiver from what was about to happen. They’ve already beaten him twice today… or was it yesterday? In any case, he wasn’t ready for more.

The door opened and Loki tensed. He could hear soft footsteps approaching his bed, but no snickering or clicking of a black devise. The footsteps stopped and Loki slowly turned around, careful of his many wounds. His vision was blurry, but he could still make out a shape of a tall man with bright blue eyes. “Thor?” he whispered, hopeful and sad at the same time, aware that it had to be one of his visions.

Steve looked down at the man, pondering about how to lift him up without hurting him even more. That’s when he noticed the word carved into his chest. He had to take a deep breath to be able to carefully pick up the man from the cot, anger causing his hands to shake. “I’ll get you out of here,” he promised and turned to leave, determined to return later and have a word with whoever was responsible for this.

Loki had to be dreaming. He was sure he hallucinated Thor, but the second those big warm hands touched him, he realised that it couldn’t be just a vision. But could it really be his brother? “Thor,” he tried to call out, but it was too raspy and unclear. “Thor,” he tried again, louder.

Steve looked down at the man in his hands, perplexed. Did he just call him Thor? The man’s eyes brightened and he tightened his arms around Steve’s neck. “You came for me. I thought you have forgotten me, brother.” Realisation hit him and Steve stopped in the middle of the hall, looking at half conscious Loki. Suddenly he didn’t know what to do.

“Where are you, Cap?” Tony’s voice came out of his earpiece, prompting him to move again. “On my way,” he simply answered and carried on with their plan. God of mischief or not, torture was unacceptable, at least that’s what he told himself as he made his way through the hallways. However, Steve wasn’t going to mention Loki’s identity to Tony, or at least not yet.

He checked the Stark phone Tony gave him, where the map of the whole building was shown. He avoided all dots representing the agents and finally entered the elevator. “Time for the phase two,” he said into his earpiece. Loki was unconscious now and Steve looked at him again, noticing every little wound and bruise. How was it even possible to hurt a god like that? Even though Loki was evil and a bit crazy, Steve felt sorry for him in that moment. What was even worse was that Thor thought his little brother was dead. _How am I going to explain this to him,_ Steve thought.

The elevator stopped and Steve stepped into another hallway, empty just like Tony has promised. If everything went according to the plan, they would be out of here in a minute or two. He turned right and saw an exit at the end of the long corridor. Steve quickened his steps, careful not to jolt Loki too much, and finally exited the building. There were no agents in sight, but he didn’t let his guard down just yet. Anything could go wrong.

“Tony, we’re almost there,” he whispered into his earpiece as they neared the Quinjet.

“Coming,” Tony answered and the link went silent again. While he was waiting, Steve carefully laid Loki down on a floor, grabbed a blanket and draped it around the god’s slim body. It looked like he haven’t eaten in a while. Steve was convinced he was doing the right thing, even if he was saving their former enemy. Nobody deserved such treatment.

He could hear a nearing footsteps and when he turned around, Tony was already entering the jet. “Ready?” he asked without looking at him and closed the door, ready to take off. Few seconds later they were in the air.

“Does Bruce know we’re coming?” Steve asked after a minute, not leaving Loki’s side. Tony promised to let Bruce know before they arrived, realising it would be a bad idea to surprise him like that. As a doctor, he could even help with the worst injuries.

“Of course he does,” Tony answered without turning around, pushing some buttons on a console before him. He haven’t looked at Loki at all, which Steve was glad for. He didn’t know if Tony would even be able to recognise him, but this way he didn’t have to worry about it. This way he could pretend they weren’t helping a crazy demigod for a little while longer.

Steve turned back to Loki, watching as his eyes flitted behind his closed lids, and his thoughts went back to Thor. They all knew he loved his little brother and mourned him greatly. How would he react, knowing Loki was not only alive, but here on Earth, being tortured? Steve didn’t know Thor very much, but he was sure the God of Thunder would demolish the whole SHIELD building in his rage. He had to let him know, but it was probably for the best if he waited until they figured out what to do first.

They landed on a roof of Avengers tower a few minutes later and Steve carefully picked Loki up, exiting the Quinjet with Tony by his side. “How is he?” Tony asked, finally looking at the injured man.

“Not good. He fell unconscious after I got him out of the cell, haven’t woken up since then.”

“Let’s get him to the infirmary.” They entered the elevator that took them to the right floor, where Bruce was already waiting, dressed in a white coat. He pointed where to put the man and Steve carefully did so.

“Okay,” Bruce said nervously, “let’s undress him first.” Loki’s shirt was already torn and they got it off without hurting him easily, however, the metal collar around his neck wouldn’t budge. It was a solid piece of metal, fitting Loki’s neck like it was made for it. As far as Steve knew, it was.

“What is that?” Steve asked as Tony tried to find a switch or something to release it, silently mumbling to himself while doing so.

“JARVIS, run a scan of this damn thing,” Tony said, ignoring Steve’s question. In the meantime, Bruce continued observing Loki’s injuries and readying antiseptic, bandages and some salves. Steve was very glad he was helping them, considering he didn’t even know what most of the machines in the room did.

“Scan complete,” JARVIS announced and a hologram of the collar appeared in front of Tony. He immediately started to pull the holographic parts apart, observing its inner workings. His eyes were squinted in concentration and Steve knew it would be futile to ask something now, so he shifted his attention back to Loki. Bruce was dabbing antiseptic onto the carved letters on his chest, taking deep breaths to stay calm. Steve appreciated his help immensely, thinking how to thank him later, when a soft click drew his attention back to Tony. He managed to successfully get the collar off.

“Shock collar,” he announced and threw it on a ground. He was angry, same as Steve and Bruce, and rightfully so. “Wait,” he said suddenly and Bruce stopped in his work, looking at Tony questioningly. “JARVIS, run a full scan.”

Steve gulped, trying to mask his sudden nervousness. JARVIS would know Loki’s true identity, he was in their database since the attack of New York. The new hologram appeared, flashing red with potential danger, the name Loki Odinson shown clear as day. The whole room went silent, then it exploded in a hurry of action. Bruce immediately left, not saying a single word, and Tony started to curse loudly, pacing around the room.

“I am such an idiot!” Tony yelled, “I should have known there was a good reason for keeping him there. And you,” he turned to Steve, pointing finger at him. He was going to say something, but then his eyes widened. “You knew.”

“Tony,” Steve started with both hands raised, but he wouldn’t let him speak.

“After everything he’s done? What is wrong with you, Steve? He killed people. He killed Coulson!”

There was a silent whimper and they both turned around. Loki was awake, breathing heavily, his eyes filled with tears. “I’m out of here,” Tony said, all his anger suddenly gone, and he turned to leave. Steve looked from Loki to Tony’s receding form, then back to Loki. He couldn’t leave him alone.

“Tony,” he called, but the engineer ignored him and left the room, leaving Steve alone with injured God of Mischief. _What am I supposed to do now?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finals are over, hopefully I'll have more free time now.


	10. Chapter 10

There were angry voices around him – no, only one voice, but two people. Loki slowly opened his eyes and carefully turned his head, curious about what was happening, but what he saw left him only more puzzled. First of all, he wasn’t in his room anymore, nor in the basement. Secondly, when his eyes focused enough, he realised the angry voice belonged to Tony Stark. The other person was turned away from him, but it wasn’t Thor. Where was he? And if Stark was here, did it mean Barton would be somewhere near as well?

He started panicking and before he could control himself, a silent whimper left his mouth. The men turned around and Loki wanted to cry. Were they going to hurt him more? He tried to roll off of the bed and hide somewhere, but the strong hand stopped him and Loki whimpered again.

“Easy,” the man whispered and Loki realised it was the soldier, Steve Rogers. He gently rolled him on his back and looked him in the eyes. “I need you to promise me something,” he said and after a while, Loki nodded. If it meant he wouldn’t get beaten again, he would do anything. “I need to leave for a minute. Stay here and don’t do anything stupid. JARVIS will alert me if you do, so don’t try it, okay?”

In the next second Rogers was gone, leaving Loki alone in this enormous room. He turned around to the row of tall windows, but he had to be high, since he could only see a clear blue sky. It was beautiful nonetheless.

“Where’s Tony,” Steve asked JARVIS as he was entering the elevator.

“99th floor,” JARVIS answered and without asking sent the elevator there. Steve didn’t even know what he was going to say, but he needed Tony’s help. Loki needed his help. He entered the common room and saw him at the bar, drinking from a half empty glass of whisky.

“Whatever you’re gonna ask, the answer is no,” Tony said before Steve could open his mouth. He drank the last of his drink and poured himself another. “And don’t tell me you left a murderous psychopath alone in my tower.”

“Tony,” Steve snapped at him, getting angry himself. “You’ve seen him. Do you really think he’s able to hurt someone? He’s barely conscious.” He should’ve been down there, helping Loki, not arguing with Tony. Maybe he should’ve gone after Bruce first. He sighed, internally cursing himself for not thinking about it.

Tony was silent for a while, looking into his whiskey, then drinking all of it in one gulp. “I’m gonna help him with the worst injuries, but after that, I want him gone from my tower. Do whatever you want with him, but if he attacks the city again, it’s your fault as well.”

“Thank you,” Steve said and his shoulders slumped in relief. He didn’t know what he was going to do after Loki was better, but his primal objective now was ensuring he _got_ better. Together they entered the elevator again, Tony still tense and visibly uncomfortable. Steve could understand it, he really could, but he was willing to put aside their disagreements, wishing Tony would do as well.

When they arrived to the infirmary, Loki was sitting on a bed, facing the windows. At the sound of their footsteps, he quickly turned around, eyes wide. “It’s okay,” Steve assured him, trying to smile, but probably failing miserably. “Should we call Bruce?” he silently asked Tony.

“I doubt he would come even if you did,” Tony answered nonchalantly, making his way over to the small table with supplies Bruce has readied. He sighed and picked up the fresh pad of cotton and antiseptic, then turned to Loki. “Let’s make this quick,” he said to no one in particular, but as he raised his hand, Loki jumped from the bed, darting away with surprising speed.

Steve ran after him, but Loki didn’t head towards the door, he took the cover under the nearest table instead. He was just scared, probably not knowing they were trying to help him, Steve realised. He squatted in front of him, leaving some distance between them. “It’s okay Loki, we want to help you. Can you come out?” When Loki didn’t move, he took a small step closer, reaching out with one hand. “I won’t hurt you, I swear.” He could hear a silent scoff from behind him, but decided to ignore it.

Loki was trembling, curled under the table and in an easy reach of the soldier. He said he wouldn’t hurt him, but how could Loki trust him? He haven’t seen or heard Thor since he woke up and he started to realise he must have imagined him after all. And what if this all was just a hallucination? He was so hungry and hurting, his mind a total mess. He couldn’t stay under the table forever anyway, so he tentatively took the soldier’s hand.

Steve carefully pulled Loki out and led him back to the bed. “We’re going to take care of your injuries now, it might hurt a bit,” he said gently, trying his best to reassure him.

“Are you finished?” Tony asked, looking straight up murderous. Steve didn’t want to anger him more, so he simply nodded and stepped away. Loki fidgeted, occasionally sending a worried glances towards Steve, but he remained seated on the bed during the whole process. They cleaned and wrapped all the cuts and then Tony handed Steve salve for the bruises. He applied it gently, earning an eye roll from him. After that Tony pulled back the scan, looking for some internal injuries. Loki had three cracked ribs and four broken fingers, and they carefully wrapped those as well.

“That’s it, now get him out of here,” Stark said and turned to leave. Loki started shaking again, scared of what was about to happen with him. He had no idea what they wanted, but he knew it couldn’t be anything good. After all, Fury had allowed him to heal too, only to let him get beaten over and over again.

“Tony,” Captain stopped the engineer with his pleading voice, but it looked like he wasn’t going to change his mind. Loki stopped listening then and lied back on the bed. It might have been the last time he did so, for all he knew. Once again he thought about his brother. It’s been months since he left Asgard to live here, on Midgard, yet Loki haven’t seen him or heard about him since he got here. Where was he? Could something have happened to him?

“Are you alright?” Captain’s voice came from somewhere near and Loki flinched away. He hasn’t noticed Stark leaving the room, but as he scanned its expanse, he realised he was once again alone with Rogers. He didn’t know what to think about him. He seemed nice, almost as if he really cared about Loki’s wellbeing, but he couldn’t trust him. He made that mistake too many times and it always ended up with him being hurt.

“What do you want?” Loki finally dared to ask. God or not, he was sure that he would recognise if Rogers lied to him, though that didn’t make him feel any less uneasy. He didn’t want to be tortured again, though isolation wasn’t any better either. He was so tired of it all.

“I want to help you Loki,” Captain answered and either Loki was too out of it, or Rogers was being honest with him. “I’m not a monster you think I am. Nobody deserves what they did to you, not even my worst enemy,” he added as he watched Loki’s surprise turn into puzzlement and then disbelief. Could it be true? But why? Why would they help someone who tried to kill them?

“Where,” Loki started, but didn’t know how to continue. Where would they go, since Stark told them to leave? Or equally important question, where was his foolish brother? “Where’s Thor?” he asked in the end. He had to know, or he would go crazy.

Rogers looked down for a moment and Loki held his breath, awaiting the worst. “I don’t know, probably Britain. That’s in Europe. Uhm…”

“I know where Europe is,” Loki interrupted, his slight annoyance at Captain’s awkwardness replaced by immense relief. Thor was alright. Now it seemed almost ridiculous to think otherwise, but Loki had to make sure. “What now?” he asked when Captain stayed silent for a long time.

“Oh,” he blinked a few times, then looked up at the ceiling. “JARVIS, where is Bruce?”

“Dr. Banner left the tower 16 minutes ago,” a disembodied voice answered and Loki looked up at the spot Rogers had been looking at just a second ago. There was nothing indicating where the voice came from.

“That’s JARVIS, Tony’s AI,” Captain said as if it was supposed to make any sense to Loki. He nodded anyway, just so he would stop talking. Now that Loki was almost sure that he wouldn’t get beaten or killed anymore, his trembling subsided and he could breathe freely once again. His future was still unclear, but right now he could rest for a little while. He closed his eyes.

“Now’s not the time for rest,” Steve said a bit reluctantly. “We have to leave the tower. We don’t have a choice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slow updates, I'm working on a several other projects rn. Also, I'm currently obsessed with Good Omens and spend probably too much time in its fandom. Anyway, as I said before, I'm going to finish this fic sooner or later (probably later).  
> Thanks for reading, commenting and all that jazz, you're awesome.


	11. Chapter 11

Steve was leading Loki through the corridors, but when he stumbled the second time, he picked him up, much to Loki’s displeasure. He didn’t fight it for long, however, his arms going limp and eyes drooping. He was tired, Steve could tell, but he had to get him out of the tower. Tony would come to his senses eventually, but until then they would stay at Steve’s apartment.

They stopped at Steve’s room first, where he found some sweater for Loki. It hang on his thin frame, but it would shield him from cold. Next they went into Tony’s garage, where Steve’s bike was parked as well. He glanced at it when they were passing, but he’d have to leave it here for now and borrow one of Tony’s less expensive cars. The problem was, all of them were expensive. He picked one randomly and put Loki down, so he could open the door for him.

“Such gentleman,” Loki whispered automatically, only realising it when Rogers chuckled silently. He had to be more careful, offending Captain America might not end well for him. He sat down and leaned on closed door, his eyes already closing again.

Steve sat in a driver’s seat and in a few seconds they were in a streets of New York. He drove carefully so he wouldn’t jolt sleeping Loki too much. He looked slightly better, but he still had a long recovery in front of him, not only physical, but mental as well. He looked nothing like the proud god they’ve encountered years ago and Steve was wondering, not for the first time, what exactly they’ve did to him. He was afraid to ask.

He parked behind his apartment building and turned off the engine. Loki was still sleeping, his bandaged chest rising and falling with a quiet breaths. He was shivering slightly as well and only then Steve realised how cold he had to be. It was early December, and even though it wasn’t snowing yet, most of the people were bundled in a thick winter clothes. He had to get him inside.

“Wake up,” Steve whispered and gently shook Loki’s shoulder. Still, Loki woke up with a start, flinching away from the touch. “It’s okay, it’s just me.”

It took Loki some time to realise what was going on. He only vaguely remembered entering the car before he fell into dreamless sleep. “Where are we?” he asked when his eyes finally focused enough and he looked outside. The building they were parked next to looked unassuming, but so did SHIELD’s headquarters in which Loki suffered for so long. He shivered from the memory – or cold, he couldn’t tell.

“I live here,” Rogers answered and then, to Loki’s surprise, smiled. He got out of the car and over to the other side, where he opened the door for him. Loki got out, eyeing the soldier suspiciously. Was this all a cruel game, an act, which would end up with Loki getting hurt, or even killed? He wasn’t sure.

Together they entered the building, then the elevator that took them to the 4th floor. Rogers walked ahead, unlocking the door and showing Loki inside. “Steve?” a woman’s voice called just when he was closing the door behind himself. Captain turned around, looking at Loki apologetically, then quickly slipped outside. _Interesting._ Loki decided to use his alone time to look around, starting with a big hallway. It didn’t look very lived in, neither did the living room or any other room in the apartment. The only thing indicating that someone really lived here were books and plastic cases of some sort lying all around. And then there was a kitchen.

“See you soon,” Steve said to Kate while closing the door, then locked it just in case. He hoped Loki haven’t destroyed anything already. He found him in the kitchen, examining a box of cereals Steve had left there the last time he was here. Looking around, he noticed it wasn’t the only thing he had left there. The kitchen was a mess. “You must be hungry,” he said when he realised he haven’t eaten anything in hours himself, successfully masking his embarrassment.

“I’ve got some eggs, peanut butter, old milk… I should restock,” Rogers chuckled, turning to look at Loki. In that moment his stomach growled and Loki pulled his arms around his middle. He didn’t care what the soldier had, he would eat anything. Five minutes later he was devouring a whole plate of scrambled eggs and four pieces of toast. Rogers had told him to slow down at one point, but Loki ignored it.

Steve could only watch as the food disappeared from Loki’s plate. He was happy the man didn’t have any problems with eating, but he also hoped he wouldn’t get sick. He slowly ate his own food and then put dirty dishes in the sink. “You can sleep on my bed,” he said then, thinking it was best to let Loki have a big and comfortable place to sleep in while he took the sofa.

That night it took him hours to fall asleep, not because the sofa was uncomfortable or something, but because of his guest sleeping in the next room. Steve was thinking about what to do with him, whether he should call Thor or not, or if it would be best if he kept it a secret. SHIELD was another problem. They didn’t contact him yet, which was probably the good thing, but kept him on his toes nonetheless. He wondered if he did the right thing after all.

In the early morning, Loki slowly woke up, blinking around himself. _I am in the Captain’s apartment, far away from my tormentors_ , he had to remind himself. For the lack of better things to do, he stayed in bed and thought. Once again, he wondered about Roger’s motives, why was he so nice and why did he let him stay here. It was something Thor would do. In the end, Loki decided that Rogers had to be a naïve fool, just like his brother.

When he heard a movement in the next room, he finally decided to get up. “Good morning,” Rogers greeted him, but Loki stayed silent. There was no need to pretend to be friendly, he was sure Rogers would notice. “I have to leave for a few minutes, buy some stuff,” he said when it was obvious Loki wasn’t going to say anything. “Please, stay inside and don’t break anything.”

Loki actually considered going out, but what would he do there? He had nowhere to go and it was warm in here at least. He promised to behave – with metaphorical crossed fingers behind his back – and watched as Captain left the apartment. In the end he decided to just read one of the many books that were lying around the apartment. After picking one randomly, he got so engrossed in it, he hadn’t noticed the door unlocking.

Steve put the bags down and removed his shoes. It was very quiet and suddenly he was afraid that Loki had escaped, running around New York and causing havoc. It was ridiculous, of course, but he still run into the living room, looking for him. He found him sitting in the armchair, reading a book. He let out a sigh of relief and at that Loki finally looked up. “What are you reading?” Steve asked to cover up his panic.

Loki slowly closed the book and handed it to Rogers, who looked at its title. “Haven’t read this one yet. Is it good?” he asked with a friendly smile. Again, Loki looked at him suspiciously. Nobody was ever nice to him without a reason – except for his mother, but he didn’t want to think about her now.

“It’s fine,” Loki said after a while and stood up from the armchair. His chest hurt a little bit after all that sitting and he took that opportunity to walk away from Rogers. He made him very uncomfortable.

“Right,” Steve mumbled, “I bought us breakfast.” He put the book down and went back into the hallway for the bags he’d left there. In the kitchen he put the things into their respective places and then placed the fresh pastries on the table. “I didn’t know what you like, so I bought a bit of everything.”

Loki looked at the array of pastries before him and his mouth watered. He wasn’t really hungry, but all of that food looked delicious, and he could take as much as he wanted. He took the first bite and almost moaned. It was as delicious as it looked and before he knew it, he ate more than a half of it.

After that Loki went back to reading, leaving Rogers to whatever he usually did in his free time. He opened the book at the right page and then stared at the first sentence. Suddenly he felt so lost, realising he had less than a century to live, and all at the mercy of this confusing man. He had to do something, but what? What _could_ he do?

“You did what?!” Roger’s voice came from the kitchen and curiosity momentarily overshadowed Loki’s anxiety, making him sneak over to the door, eavesdropping on the conversation.


	12. Chapter 12

Steve was surprised to see Tony’s number when his phone started to ring. It’s been only a day since he so aggressively sent him and Loki away after all. Could it be that he’s already changed his mind? He hoped so. “What is it?” He asked when he picked up.

“Hello to you too,” came a sarcastic answer and Steve rolled his eyes. “Now seriously, I have some important news.”

Steve didn’t like the sound of it. He knew that tone, the one Tony used when he did something irresponsible or straight up stupid. “What did you do?” he asked with trepidation. He looked into the hallway as well, checking if Loki hasn’t overheard their conversation. It looked like he was still in the living room.

“You know the stuff we’ve found when I hacked into the SHIELD’s database?” Tony said, apparently not expecting the answer since he immediately started to speak again. “I’ve looked into it more, and guess what I’ve found. Hydra! Yes, that Hydra,” Tony said as if sensing Steve’s question.

“But,” Steve whispered, not knowing what to even say. He had destroyed Hydra, hadn’t he? He ended up frozen for almost seventy years because of that. “What exactly have you found?”

“You’re not gonna like it, but it looks like they had their agents infiltrated in the SHIELD for quite some time. They were practically controlling the whole organization from the inside.” Steve could hear Tony’s own anger and it made him feel better. Because he was _livid_.

“We have to do something.”

“Already done,” Tony said smugly and Steve’s anxiety returned. “I might have posted some nasty information about our secret, double-dealing organization on the internet,” he said with the same smugness, visibly proud of his great achievement, but he didn’t get to say anything else.

“You did what?!” Steve barked into the phone, louder than he intended, but he wasn’t going to apologise. “What did you do Tony? What exactly did you post?”

“Calm down. It was just enough information for the FBI, CSI and I don’t know what else to start looking into it.” To Steve’s delight Tony sounded a little bit guilty. He shouldn’t have done it without contacting Steve first though, he was their captain for God’s sake.

“What does it mean for us?” he asked, quieter now that he knew it wasn’t _that_ bad. He still wasn’t okay with it, obviously, but after what they’ve done to Loki he knew he couldn’t just let them be. And to think that it was Hydra this whole time. He was getting angry again just from thinking about it.

“Well, if I’m right – which I usually am – in a few days SHIELD will be no more and you will be our only leader.”

Steve was silent for a while, processing what he’s just heard, and Tony let him. Was he ready to take such responsibility? It would definitely reduce the amount of Tony’s reckless actions – though not even he could prevent them completely. “If you’re sure,” he said in the end.

“Of course I’m sure,” Tony said brightly. There was a silence for a moment, then some murmuring. “Okay, I have to go, but I’ll talk to you later.”

“Wait,” Steve called before Tony could hang up. “Have you told the others?”

There was a shuffling on the other end, then Tony’s voice appeared again. “Well, I told Bruce,” he said distractedly. He was evidently in a hurry and Steve didn’t want to hinder him longer than was necessary.

“I’ll call Thor, someone has to tell him about Loki anyways.” They told their goodbyes and then finally hung up. Steve didn’t call Thor right away though, he had to calm down first. Since the attack on New York Steve’s gone on several missions SHIELD had sent him to and not even once had he questioned it. He was a naïve fool. He put the phone down and placed his head into his hands, sighing quietly.

Loki didn’t dare to leave his hiding spot, which happened to be a tall bookcase filled to the brim with books and other stuff. He didn’t really understand what was going on, only that Rogers was going to call Thor, and if his brother knew he was alive, he would surely come here. Despite wanting to see him, he was slightly scared. And what if Thor wouldn’t want to see him after what he’s done? What if he didn’t care anymore?

Loki took a deep breath, trying to calm down. This was what he wanted, wasn’t it? Since he got cast out, since he realised he was going to die soon, all he wanted was to see Thor. But now, when it was finally possible, he was afraid. He was ashamed too, realising how pitiful he had to look, covered in bruises and bandages. He hadn’t looked at himself for a long time, actually, but he didn’t even want to. Pathetic, that’s what he was.

There was some shuffling in the kitchen and Loki noticed Rogers picking up the phone again. This was it, he could still stop him. Rogers placed the phone to his ear. His last chance.

“Yes?” a feminine voice asked after the second ring. Jane Foster.

“This is Steve Rogers,” Steve introduced himself, not sure if Jane had his number. Thor had refused to get his own phone, saying he didn’t understand those Midgardian devices, and so they got her number instead, knowing that if the god wasn’t with the Avengers, he was surely with his girlfriend. “I have to speak with Thor,” he went straight to the point.

“Just a second,” Jane answered and soon he could hear Thor’s exited voice in a distance. “Steve!” he yelled into the phone, making Steve wince. They haven’t seen each other in months and clearly the God of Thunder had missed him in that time. It brought a small, genuine smile to his face. “Has something happened? Is my presence needed?” Thor continued loudly, but calmed down after Steve heard Jane say something to him, clearly amused by his antics.

Steve quickly explained everything he knew about SHIELD and Hydra, but knew mentioning Loki was inevitable. When Thor asked about the mysterious prisoner they have rescued, he took a deep breath and finally spilled the beans. “It’s Loki,” he said, expecting an outburst or something, but got silence instead. “Thor?” Nothing.

Loki was practically vibrating where he sat, waiting for Thor’s answer. He couldn’t hear what his brother was saying, his voice slightly distorted by the machine, but it was oddly soothing anyway. Now, however, he was completely silent. Was he angry? If he was indeed angry, he should’ve been yelling, that’s the way he’s always been, right? When the answer finally came, it was so silent Loki had almost missed it.

“Loki is dead,” Thor finally said, way quieter and sadder than before. “I’ve seen it with my own eyes, I held him when…” The line went silent again.

“He isn’t,” Steve said, hating how broken Thor sounded. “He’s alive… I can put him on the phone, if you’d like.” He stood up, but the god’s voice stopped him immediately.

“No!” he shouted, then, realising how loud he was, continued more quietly, “it’s fine, I believe you.” Steve wanted to say something else, console his friend, but he didn’t know how. He couldn’t tell him that Loki was okay, because he wasn’t. “Where is he?” Thor asked, pulling him from those thoughts.

“He’s with me, in my apartment.” He looked into the hallway again, but he couldn’t see much. Steve hoped Loki haven’t overheard their conversation, he wanted to tell him about SHIELD himself. Just when he thought about asking Thor to come and see him, the god asked if he could visit. “Of course,” Steve answered, really hoping Thor would be able to help him with Loki. He still didn’t know what exactly happened to him, or how was he even alive, and maybe it was for the best if Thor was the one asking those questions.

“I’ll be there in a few hours,” Thor said and then hung up. Steve looked at the phone’s screen until it went dark, bewildered. He hoped his friend was alright.

Now was the time to let Loki know his brother would be visiting. He stepped into the hallway and surprisingly, Loki was already there, sitting behind the bookshelf. Steve was going to ask him for how long had he been listening, but the god’s wide and scared eyes changed his mind. “It’s alright,” he said instead.

Loki calmed down a bit, his initial fear from being discovered subsiding. He’d wanted to go back to the living room and pretend he hadn’t heard a thing, but the second Rogers stood up, he had frozen. He had nothing to fear here, he reminded himself, or at least he hoped so. He stood up, masking his unease with nonchalance. “What did he say?” he asked, not even trying to pretend he hadn’t heard their conversation.

“That he’ll be here in a few hours,” Rogers said matter-of-fact, leaving Loki frozen once again. He’d known Thor would come here sooner or later, so why was he so scared now? Loki only nodded, unable to produce a coherent answer.

-O-

“I’m sorry,” Thor said as he handed Jane the remnants of her phone. He didn’t want to crush it, he’d just got overwhelmed by his emotions, as usual. He had a good reason too. Loki was alive. How? He had to find out. The next minute he was gripping Mjolnir, flying towards the city of New York.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating for a long time, I haven't been feeling like writing anything lately. Hopefully it'll get better soon.


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